I’m so behind that I don’t think that we’ll be able to relaunch January 1. It will happen, but I had a slight meltdown after my [father] told my mother what I believe to be the truth; he paid a native woman $100 USD to have sex with or perform sexual favors for him. On the ancient home of the Cayuse, Umatilla and Walla Walla. Federal property. A Federal misdemeanor. I’ve informed the FBI and I’ll get around to notifying the Tribal Federales … whenever. Maybe those guys will get a tip from the top!
I think I need to testify both during the trial and sentencing hearing because though the book is small, they should still throw it at the man and he should serve the maximum sentence, which is 365 days, probably at FCI Sheridan. So I won’t cover it here, though I could probably write about the man authoritively …
“Bailiff, whack his wee-wee!” — The judge from Cheech & Chong
Anyway, I’ve been a doctor since November 15, 2022, so I’m going to start showing it off. Therefore, my full title is:
Doctor James Leo Pius X Hehn, PhD
But you don’t have to use anything but my first name unless you’ve been naughty … your name must be Albert Lester Tibbets (Tater) December 7, 1957, glasses, “plays guitar …” But, everyone else can just call me James.
— The Publisher
P.S. He gave me one guitar lesson in my life where he could sorta figure out the melody to Yankee Doodle and a standard blues rhythm. I taught myself everything else. Stop, and I mean stop, telling me how good he is [parlor tricks] or comparing me to him else I lace my old boots back up and curbstomp you … any judge could see that it was “Justifiable Homicide.”
Merry Christmas from Pendletonian Times!
P.S.S. Oh yeah … turns out that I was supposed to come out to the Rez and give Umatilla Tribal Police Department a statement … so I put it in my paper and if the Confederated Umatilla Journal wants publication rights or some exclusive stories … And I better let the bosses over at [the] Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Indian Reservation know that I’m reasonably sure that pornography is located on his iPhone which is on that guy I talked to yesterday’s desk … and I took away all access to these sorts of things on the home network a week before he was taken away in a squadcar … the last thing he said is that he’s addicted so once I took away his access, while he was still in possession of the phone … I told Eric all this information yesterday, so if he hasn’t taken action due to suspicion then he’s likely unfit for Federal employment too, hmm? Tater informed me of an ancient Cayuse legend where a pervert worked for the tribe and they took away his phone and kept it on his bosses desk … so I told his boss that I think he should look.